The more you know about yourself – your inner-workings – the more you know about others and how to interact with them and how ‘not’ to interact with them. This makes for smooth and easy relations whether at work, home or play.
In his handbook How to Beat the Stress and Get More Out of Life, Murray Oxman is spot-on when describing both the problem and the solution. Here is just a taste from Chapter 2: A New Way to Approach Problems.
We are all conditioned to think that the painful thoughts and feelings we have are not only needful, but that they are us. But they are not. We are not the worries, regrets and self-criticisms we experience. We are neither the stressful feelings nor the elated feelings. None of it.
At the same time, we have to take full responsibility for ourselves — including not only our actions, but our thoughts and emotions. We can’t blame someone else or blame circumstances for anything anymore. Each of us has to begin to see that only we ourselves have made our own lives what they are, and only we ourselves can correct it. We can acquire knowledge, but the understanding must be ours individually.
Each one of us has to accept the fact that we can be free of our problems as soon as we fully see the cause of them, which is our own personal conditioned attitudes and behavior. That’s what really works. Seeing what and where the problem really is. When we see the problem as the problem that’s the end of it.
Inner Life Exercise
(also from How to Beat the Stress…)
Slow down. Deliberately slow yourself down several times a day. Perhaps walk somewhere at half your usual pace. Go through a meal in slow motion. Drive at a safe, lawful speed, without hurrying or cutting in and out of traffic, even if you are behind schedule. Find other ways to become more aware of yourself by slowing down on purpose. This new physical tempo will signal your mind to slow down, too.