There are definite and unbreakable laws governing sex and sweethearts. The wise man or woman can save years of grief by learning to live from them. Here are four of these rules from
SEX and SWEETHEARTS
by Vernon Howard.
1. A high-level person and a low-level person may make contact but they cannot form a personal relationship. They have nothing in common. Neither wants the way of life preferred by the other.
2. A pleasant and profitable relationship can be formed only when both the man and the woman aspire to reach higher places in the inner life. They have an exciting common interest and can help each other to learn and grow.
3. A low-level man and a low-level woman may remain together but they secretly or openly dislike each other. One of them is annoyed by weakness in the other that he also sees in himself. Bickering and battling is their harmful hobby. They cling together not because of natural affection but because they use each other as an ally against a world they see as hostile and terrifying. Publicly they pretend to be happy together.
4. If one partner climbs to a higher level but the other one does not, they begin to drift apart inwardly and sometimes physically. The partner who has refused to grow spiritually will always lie about the reason for the separation. He will angrily accuse the developing person, but in his heart he knows the real reason they could not remain together. The real reason was his own decision to remain an immature human being.
Inner Life Exercise
Imagine a length of rope with one end tied to you and the other tied to that man or woman. You permit the rope because you think your attachment to the other person gives you security. But you are painfully surprised that it does the exact opposite — the connection causes insecurity. So confusion now becomes part of your heartache. The ropes are your thoughts. This is the only connection you have with the other person. Look what this means! If you simply drop a thought-rope you break the connection and end the pain. You are free of the other person, that is, you are free from distressing and unnecessary thoughts about him.
(from a talk given by Vernon Howard)