Win While Losing (audio)

The following is an excerpt from Murray Oxman’s book, How to Tune Up Your Life:

CactusTool 9 — Win While Losing: This is truly one of the most wondrous and important tools you could ever undertake. It’s all about letting everyone else win. We all love to straighten other people out — tell them what they should be doing etc. Here’s how this tool works: The next time someone, anyone, tries to straighten you out, don’t defend yourself. Let the other person win. Listen politely. Don’t even resist and argue inwardly. (You never know, they might be right.) What we do know is that defending ourselves is a waste of our life. It makes us weak. Try the tool for a few weeks and see if you don’t feel better in general. It takes a while to understand that defending yourself gives your power of self-command away. There’s real healthy strength in this tool.

When you’re ready to go to the next level with this tool, try this: Anytime someone ridicules you, insults you and/or makes you look foolish, let them get away with it. Simply observe your negative reactions and impulses and do nothing to set them straight. They wrongly think they won, but you secretly won the power and serenity of self-command. “Doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to me,” you say? You’re right. This is very difficult to do at first, but stick with it. When you least expect it, you’ll succeed and be glad you persisted. It’ll be more good fun than you’ve had in a long time. Plus, remember you were told early on — this is for a very special kind of person. One who is desperate for Real solutions to life’s problems.

At this point you’re probably asking yourself what’s so important and wondrous about this tool. Here’s the answer in the words of the New Testament: “Judge not and you will not be judged; condemn not and you will not be condemned; forgive and you shall be forgiven; give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back.” (Luke 6:37-38)

Who you really are, your True Nature, could care less when others win the ego-victory. Your true nature is not of the competitive egocentric world. When you consciously allow your ego-self to lose, your True Nature wins.