When you have a want or desire they becomes your God. And this want blinds you to your actions of placing any burdens on anyone and everyone that stands in the way of that want. Your desires and wants should not make you desperate.
Recently I had to pick up lots of material at a big box store and wanted to park my truck close to the buildings exit. At certain times of the day these choice spots are usually taken. As I drove up to this area there was one spot available. Acting quickly I zipped into that spot. I did not noticed until after the fact I had cut off another driver to get to that spot. He was just passing through the parking lot. He spoke bothered, yet calmly out from his truck window saying; “Hey.” Now safely in the spot, I sat there in my truck and listened to my mind try to convince me that I had done no wrong and it was saying things like this; “You had to act quickly because these spots go quickly.” And, “That other driver should understand there was only one last spot left and yield to you, it’s obvious, even if he had the right of way.” Also, “You did nothing wrong.” The conversation continued in my head. Then a small smile came over my face as it dawned on me what had really happened. In my desire to get close to that stores’ exit I had almost caused an accident. My image of being a considerate driver was being challenged by facts and reality. Now my mind, which is not my friend, switched and was saying; “You should feel bad.” “You acted in a manner that you always see others act and are disturbed when you see it.” I replied to my mind “Nope, not this time,” I see clearly I was taken over by my want and it acted in a bad manner. I was wrong not to be alert to it, but it would be dumb to suffer from its’ actions. I dropped it and stayed a little bit more alert to its’ shenanigans as I continued with my shopping.
Vernon Howard’s quote; “Desperation has no Consideration’ was played out right in front of my eyes, but only if I dared to see it. My present mind was very happy to keep me in the dark. There is an unseen life that most will never view because they don’t want to see it. It is not wrong to have goals, but they should not hurt others when you seek out your goals.
It’s so healthy to question everything about our behavior. Especially if someone accuses us or gets angry. Chances are we have provoked it in some way. Funny how at first, we’re almost always sure we are right.
I recently read in a Vernon Howard book the life rule ‘Never protect resentment’. When I protect resentment I protect the part of me that is always sure I am right. If I look at my life with self-honesty I have to admit this hurts me. My desperate desire to avoid the so called pain of seeing I am wrong has no consideration for other people. My desires and wants should not make me desperate.