Recently I was in a conversation with some other students who are seeking to further understand themselves. We chatted about wanting to have a nice relaxed experience by dining together with others whom we believed would bring this about. Later when getting together, the experience turned out to be anything but nice and relaxed. So we decided to look at this event to see if there was anything we could learn. There was a lot. The next day I was talking to my brother on the phone about a completely different matter where he was talking about looking at why he had conflict with some of his clients and why there was harmony with other clients.
Both of these conversations were about having expectations of future events. There was the belief on how things should unfold and there was the reality of what occurred. The result was disappointment and conflict. The mind actually sets itself up for future disappointment by believing it knows how things should go.
In the case of my brother, he said he realized that he brought his preferred ideas into the event and he could see that his client arrived with his own ideas. Then there was reality which unfolded which was different from both of those ideas. My brother said he then dropped his ideas and the whole experience turned out perfectly for both himself and his client. He said he was learning to stay out of it. What an enlightening revelation! What a beautiful life lesson!
Vernon Howard says, “There is too much of you in your life.” It makes no sense to trust a mind that has a terrible track record. Watching yourself make this mistake over and over again is what dissolves this self defeating behavior. Hooray, your getting smart by seeing.
“We are teachable when permitting the present way to reveal the urgent need for the new way.” -Vernon Howard. This means we have to use our present problems to learn life lessons which break us into freer states of mind. Clarity is everything. Inspiration comes to you, you don’t go to it. Self-discovery is the rewarding aim.
“I” win by losing. If I am willing to give up what I think I am, space is cleared for something higher.
Suffering does not want the masses to find this out, for it is the end of suffering!
Just by our experiences we can see that absolutely nothing turns out the way the mind expected it to. That is a great clue to seeing that the mind has its own stupid ideas about how things should turn out. We really don’t know what’s best for us. When we get out of our own way, then something higher can lead us. What a relief!
YES, but we must stay alert for the next stupid idea. The devil (Unconsciousness) does not give up easily and will present a new stupid idea. Our happy task is to be alert and not fall into this painful trick. We are so lucky these higher ideas somehow found us.
It seems that what we call negative experiences are our greatest teachers when we remain quiet & still & watch for the lesson. I’ve had painful experiences that are still providing insights 20 years or more later.
Yes, John, We have a choice of remembering our past experiences by either going into suffering (which is false because it is not happening in this present moment) or using pure memory, which has no pain in it at all, only the pure facts of what took place. And as you said, we can use these to understand life lessons much deeper. Separation from identifying with that past experience has now given us new clarity about what occurred. The negative experience is somehow changed and becomes our personal teacher. What a delightful path of self-discovery we are on. Those mistakes are transformed!!
Yes – thank God for mistakes the learn from!