Why have opinions, why not seek facts?
Vernon Howard discovered through his own self-watching that having opinions lead nowhere. Therefore, working to seek facts is much more profitable. After helping a customer with some tasks around her property, she questioned, what was my opinion on a big social issue of the day. I told her “I don’t have one.” She looked at me strangely, “No opinion?” She peered at me as if I was an alien from outer space. And, then with a certain tone in her voice as if she was also saying, What’s wrong with you? She said; “You don’t have an opinion on this social issue?” I told her that it made no sense to have an opinion considering I only had a few facts about it. I then continued, this issue is very complex, and I have many questions about it.
Listening with a relaxed manner reveals insights into human nature
An opinion she had. So she spoke her mind. Listening with a relaxed manner, I was immediately struck at how self enclosed she became as she continued to talk. The more she talked the further enclosed she became. Her focus was, how much she cared. And, all her fears of what could and would go wrong about this issue. She remarked, she knew better than me for she had studied the issue. Shocked at what was happening in front of me. She seemed unaware that her remarks had taken a position, a moral high ground way above me. Trying to snap her out of it, and bring her back to reality, I threw her a bright thought, saying, “My aim is always to keep my spirit light, and to be content, and happy.” Not skipping a beat, she quipped she was very very very happy person. I sensed otherwise.
Her opinion didn’t help her.
In fact it made her upset and yet she couldn’t see it. so, I sat there, watched, and listened to her words. Because I could see her opinion kept her blind to what was going on in the present moment, she couldn’t see how self defeating it was to have her opinion. I could see it clearly. I watched as she become her opinion, she was not separate from it at all. Her opinion and herself were one thing.
This simple 10 minute interaction was loaded with inner life.
We all have short interactions daily just like this, and instead of hating being cornered, or irritated, or getting angry, we can use Vernon Howard’s psychological tools to see things we never saw before. So, words to the wise, give up your opinions, they keep you unhealthy and self-enclosed.
Let life happen. Let thing develop and change in whatever way they like. Learn from everything you observe. This is the right path to living a happy, carefree life.
Recently, someone I knew asked me to watch a video they had made describing a book they wrote. the video made it painfully obvious right away that it was political and took a very hard stance based on their views. Thanks to knowing the fact that I didn’t have to take a position and either agree or fight, I was able to remain calm instead of anxiously opposing the view and creating an enemy. Isn’t peace better than fighting? What a relief to know I don’t have to fight people (inwardly in my mind or outwardly with words) anymore.
It is true. To have an opinion is pain, because there will always be an opposite. Peace of mind is above opposites.
I used to have VERY strong opinions.
I remember in one of Vernon’s talks, he said something like, “Facts are of Heaven; opinions are of Earth.”
Knowing that it’s okay for people to have whatever opinions they like, without me having to disagree or agree, makes me breathe a sigh of relief because I understand that this opinioner inside, is against a true and peaceful life.
People REALLY feel they need you to agree or disagree with them, because they need you in order to keep the belief that they exist.
There is something inside that is so used to people-pleasing and wants to be seen as a nice person, that it takes a while to have the courage to be true. At first, I caught myself agreeing when I didn’t, just to be seen as ‘a good friend,’ but at the same time, there would be this inner vibration that didn’t feel good. There is more courage there now. We need other people in order to see where we are deluding ourselves into thinking we are being true.
Great points about the opposites. When we take a position, by having an opinion, it really does nothing good for us. We have this opinion that does not inspire us in the lest and if you dig down deep within, you can see how it keeps us shaky, and nervous, and does not provide the security that it promised it would.
I like that about ‘the opinioner’. All the opinioner wants to do is have more opinions! It doesn’t care about truth or peace!
My mind will say ‘I don’t care about being seen as nice, but I MUST be proved right. Others will crumble under the force of my incredible intelligence and logic.’ This is the same wolf dressed as a different sheep! And at it’s heart it is just non-existent nonsense.
‘She became her opinion. She was not separate from it at all.’
I believe I am my opinions. The idea of being separated from them is almost unthinkable! This blog post describes every miserable interaction I have ever had. What would happen if I just let the opinion go?
‘a position, a moral high ground’
The ‘high’-ness mentioned is my own delusory highness. I remember with pleasure times in my life I have been truly brought low and humbled. What a relief! Thank God wrongness really feels wrong, and sincerity in me can begin to feel it and get away from it. God please knock me off my perch on my delusory moral ‘high’ ground!
Yes Leo, and she did not have the slightest clue she had made a huge inner mistake. Living with any mistake you make is hellish and self-imprisoning. This is why we must expose our mistakes to ourselves so we can view them and let them go.
I opened my e-mails this morning and my boss had said something I disagreed with. Mentally I got up and stuck my finger straight into the 230 Volt plug socket! Bam!
I would have sworn to you that the opinion I had was something I just had to hold on to! I told myself ‘I will work on dropping my opinions just as soon as I prove I AM RIGHT on this one issue’!
It had been pointed out to me earlier how I don’t live a relaxed day, and allow an impostor to speak in my name with strong and fiery opinions. Thankyou God that something got through. I can walk away from this and every other opinion. A prayer answered in twelve hours! God please humble me more!
This is really quit amazing. If we continue to work at separating from our opinions. And who we presently think we are, which is possessing a separate self, which must be protected, then something very different from what we have always know begins to happen inside ourselves. A inner change. We begin to be able to see ourselves more clearly, and when we do this, we see others more clearly. The light shines on my mistakes, and that same light shines on other’s mistakes. Maybe we looked up to someone, or was envious of another, but now we see them totally differently. This new seeing reveals that I was imaging, and projecting my ideas onto them, and they are not as I thought. They are in the same state as I was, which is self-concerned, insecure, worried, bothered, angry, and like me, pretending that all is well with themselves. This planet is loaded with actors and actresses. This is life-changing, for the falseness is being exposed. So, you then ask yourself, “What else am I seeing incorrectly?” This is real fun, and an endless adventure in self-discovery.